Another week

So another week has come and gone and I'm pretty much in equilibirum at school. I'm getting homework finished, understanding concepts, and finding more and more ways to spend quality time with Lauren. Life is good.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 again so I could work out prior to my 8:30 class. Sitting in bed after turning of the alarm clock, I really didn't want to get up, really didn't want to go to the gym , and I absolutely wanted nothing to do with another workout that would stress my body to the point of nausea. I got up anyway.

Yesterday I read that

"Performance directly correlates with intensity. Intensity directly correlates with being uncomfortable." -Greg Glassman

While this was written in regards to athletic training, I think it transfers to life pretty well. Consistently choosing to get up early and get going, choosing to push as hard as you can instead of coast, choosing to do the hard things rather than the easy is what separates the people who excel from everyone else.

I learned something about myself today while at the gym. For most of my life, I've been content to coast because even coasting I was "ahead of the curve". The reality is that when I look back at the points in my life that I really made an impact or accomplished something extraordinary are the same points where I consistently chose to pursue my goal with vigor. The times I elected to be uncomfortable.

Because I have the capacity for intense focus and drive, I like to think of myself as driven and highly motivated individual. I am not. I to endeavor to change this, rather than be content with coasting, I want to find out exactly what I can do. I want to push my limits because doing so expands them.

Simple observation

I have made a lot of comparisons between the education, teaching styles, and environments that exist at Michigan Tech and at the University of Michigan. However, I had a realization today that explains much of my observations and really gets at the heart of the matter.

First, a few definitions. An engineer (from my perspective) is someone who applies science and scientific principles to a problem in an attempt to generate a solution. The motivation varies but the end result is the solution to a practical problem.

A scientist (again from my perspective) is someone who again uses science and scientific principles to further understand the physical world. Again, the motivation varies but the end result in this case is the advancement of knowledge, not necessarily a solution to a practical problem.

Ignoring the fact that most engineers have a little scientist in them and some scientists have a little engineer in their blood, my observation is this:

Michigan Tech is aimed at creating engineers. The University of Michigan is aimed at creating scientists.

Maybe that's why when Tech plays U of M in hockey, the taunt "Michigan engineers drive trains, Choo Choo!" rings out....

Settling in

Today I claimed my space in the grad student office located in the basement of my building. I am supposed to share the space with another MSE student, but at the moment I don't believe he is too interested in using the space. Thus, I suppose I will occupy the area until changes need to be made.

I have now been in grad school for a little over a month. I am studying for my first exam and am finally getting back into the rhythm of academic life. It is taxing to say the least and I think Lauren wonders when she will get her husband back. Unfortunately, I don't ever expect that I will see her as much as I did when I was unemployed and waiting for school. School and work will probably demand much of my attention until I retire.

I have also settled into a workout routine. 4 days each week I arrive on campus by 7:30 and go to the gym. I attack a workout designed to stress my body, take a sauna, shower and then get on with my day. It really seems to make a difference in how well the rest of my day goes.

Fighting through

I'm not sure where I learned to be stubborn. Perhaps it was watching my mom struggle through law school. Maybe it was watching my father complete the Iditarod despite a severely injured leg. I don't know.

This morning I found myself in the gym, halfway through a workout I really didn't want to start looking at the clock and I realized I was at a tipping point. I could quit, which was a completely rational idea given that I was feeling nauseated and my parking meter was going to expire. The other option was to accept the discomfort and continue to the end of the workout.

The larger issue here is whether I can live with myself as someone who quit. The answer is no. Yes it's just a workout. Yes there will be another one. Yes there may be consequences to not quitting. Fundamentally I don't feel as though I can just walk away when something gets hard.

I feel there is a lot of value of persistence in the face of adversity. I want to thank everyone along the way who helped me develop that characteristic. It has served me well..

Bitter taste of Disappointment

Let me set the stage for you. It's 1:00am, I've just returned from the computer labs where I've been working since 9:00 yesterday morning to finish my math and hydrology homework. For the first time that I can remember, I've decided not to do some of my homework because I don't have the time to finish it.

I should be in bed. Indeed, I need to wake up in 4 1/2 hours. However, I am at this point mad instead of tired. Mad at myself for letting homework and poor time management beat me. I guess I could get worked up about it, but at this point I can only do one thing: adapt.

I'll be a lot more focused from here on out when it comes to school work. As much as I hate to admit it,I've been really unproductive lately and failing to complete a homework assignment that I've had a week to do is unacceptable. Time to go to bed so I can get a little bit of rest and attack school tomorrow. Watch out book and problems, I'm pissed.

Winter musings

So it's supposed to snow 5-9 inches by tomorrow morning and one would think the storm of the century is moving in if I paid any attention to my email. My University of Michigan inbox is flooded with announcements that several extra-curricular events have been rescheduled in anticipation of the storm.

After some tought on what appears to be (from my perspective) an over-reaction, I have some reflections:

1) This is definitely not the UP 5"-9" of white stuff would harly slow down the UP and students at Tech and Northern would curse as they cleaned their car off for the 5th day in a row. That's about it. People would still attend events and they would be on time. I distinctly remember attending a presentation at Tech where the presenter was 15 minutes late due to snow. His first statement was "I don't know how you do it, but everyone here can drive in the snow!" Somewhere in the crowd, I heard one of my Yooper buddies ask "Doesn't everyone?"

2) Adults like to whine and children are honest. I was watching a lady at Meijer walk out of the store towards her car. As soon as she stepped out of the store, an awful scowl fell on her face and she looked miserable despite being tucked deep in her parka. She also had two 6 year old boys with her. They were wearing coats halfway unzipped and no hats, yet they were still as happy outside as they had been inside. No change of expression and no visible discomfort. Perhaps the lady was miserable because she expected to be miserable and her boys were happy because they were reacting to the wonders of the world. That is some food for thought.

3) My tires are terrible in sloppy conditions. Yes the roads were not in good shape today. However, when a van with nearly bald tires can get through an intersection before my car in the snow, I think I might have some traction problems.

4) Snow is better than sunshine. Yes I may be consoderd crazy for that statement, but I have been smiling all day. Snowing since 7:00 am and I can't seem to stop smiling.... Good thing I've got clothing for that "massive" amount of snow I'll be trudging through tomorrow... I can hardly wait.

rant continued

So I did sit through 2 hours of wasted meeting time.

On the plus sid ei found out that I'm actually going to be able to move forward in the coming weeks. That bit of good news certainly changed my mood for the day.

Time to vent a little....

I'm waiting in my departmental lounge for a meeting that I really don't want to attend. My research group has two people working on a project that has massive issues with the computer model they are working on. The two students working on it have been working independently thus far( different aspects of the project) and for the past three weeks we've spent 45 minutes listening to each of them explain that (in my own words) " The model is broken and at this point is useless."

So, my fervent hope is that they decided to work together on troubleshooting the code so I don't have to sit through 90 minutes of the same "it isn't working and I don't know why" drivel that I have listened to for far too long already. I guess it's a good thing I grabbed a cup of coffee so I don't fall asleep this time.

My own research has been moving at an agonizingly slow pace. The computer model I am supposed to verify is now two weeks late in arriving. I am supposed to be collecting data that I can use to test the model, but it's awfully hard to do that when I don't know what inputs the model needs and I don't know what output it generates. On top of that, my advisor's attention is primarily directed elsewhere because there isn't much to do with what I've got.

There are so many little things here at U of M that simply poorly thought out and even more poorly executed. Lets take building access for example. As a person who is paying a good deal of money to attend this "glorious instituiton", I expect to be able to have access to the computer labs and my office when I need to use them. This occasionally falls outside the time domain of 7:00a am to 11:00 pm. Instead of granting me access by default (NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO DO) to my "home" building, I have to make a special request. The same was necessary to even use the computer labs on North Campus. It really wouldn't be that hard to take the information of who is enrolled in a class on North Campus and grant them computer and building access automatically, would it?

Continuing on my rant, I want to know why it is acceptable to be late for everything on this campus. It's a phenomenon called "Michigan Time." That's a little arrogant, I know a lot of places in Michigan where starting an event ten minutes or more late EVER TIME would get you fired, or at least a stern talking-to. Rather than just assuming everything will start ten minutes late, how about we start on-time and just change the time window. I get that it takes time to walk to class, so why not schedule classes in 50 minute time increments instead of 1 hour? It's frustrating to me to see this type of "institutional laziness" not only accepted, but encouraged.

Going home?

I'm standing in the kitchen with some spaghetti cooking on one counter and my computer running on the other. I am trying to figure out if I can afford to go home this weekend to visit my parents in light of the amount of work that I am going to have due next week. Unfortunately it doesn't appear too likely that I'm going to be able to leave unless I have some major breakthroughs tomorrow.

That being said, I would really like to make it to the farm so I can relax and breathe for a day. I'm hoping I can get far enough ahead of my work so that I can do that within the next week or so.

In the mean time, I'll have to be content cooking dinner while I wait for Lauren to come home. Its already been a long day and I'm trying my best to stick to the "no homework at home" goal I've set. So, I return to the spaghetti cooking and will probably rest until my wife returns.

Just when I thought I had it all under control...

So I got an email yesterday from my math prof. She had decided that there wasn't enough homework and that we should do some more..... This happened mere hours after I had completed the original assignment. So, it was back to the computer labs again to find a way to incorporate the necessaryt changes into my program (yes we write computer programs to solve math problems, its far faster than actually doing it by hand..... sometimes)

Aside from that things are going really well today. I got a morning workout in and finished the extra work. I'm now set to spend my day reading journal articles for research.... not a bad life I must say.

Hitting Stride

I went to bed last night feeling a sense of victory. I finished my homework for the first time since starting grad school without having to stay up till 1:00 AM the night before. With that, I was able to get enough sleep and I woke up this morning ready to go. So instead of taking it easy, I attacked my day, got to the gym by 7:15 and ripped through a morning workout.

I like being one step ahead of everything. I finally feel like I am performing at (or at least near) the level I am capable of performing. We'll see if I crash later today but I doubt it. Morning workouts tend to keep me energized all day long.