Morning shakes

It's been awhile since I was shaking and sick to my stomach on the way to campus. No, I don't have a major exam. No I am not ill or malnourished. I was full of nervous energy thinking about my workout today.

It's been too long since I've gotten a good dose of fear in the morning. The quesions of "Will I make it?", "How fast can I go today?", and "I hope I don't throw up" raced through my mind as I drove to the gym on campus. Somehow I know on a gut level that if I don't fear my workout, if I don't intentionally put myself in an uncomfortable situation, then I'll never see meaningful results.

Part of exercise for me goes beyond the physical training. The mental strength, courgage, and fortitude required to rise before the sun in order to face something that I'd rather not are integral things to training for me. What good is a capable body without a capable mind? What good is a sports car if you only use it to get groceries?

So, in addition to the nervous shakes and feeling nauseated, I felt a sense of joy that has been missing from my routine lately. After 15 minutes of sprints, situps and back extensions, I was lying on mat, making a sweat angel while trying to breathe, and thinking about how happy I am to be alive.